alsemero

... and sometimes, for no apparent reason, you just crumble and fall apart.

Your self confidence evaporates, you flounder and you feel, suddenly, that all you want to do is get away from the place and the people as quickly as you can and lock yourself away in a dark room.

And there is no logical reason for this. Nothing to explain it. Yet it hits you like a punch in the face but you have to try, somehow, to pull yourself together, forget it and carry on because there are things to do, people to see.

You cannot understand why it happens. And you know there is no-one to tell. No-one who will take you on one side and say 'it's okay, it will pass'.

You feel alone.

“Inside our heads we carry ourselves perfected – ourselves at the best age and in the best light as well: never caught awkwardly … if naked, seen gracefully reclining through a gauzy mist, which is where movie stars come in: they assume such poses for us. They are our younger selves as they recede from us, glow, turn mythical”

Margaret Attwood : The Blind Assassin